Be Impeccable With Your Words

12 Jun

I’m sure we can all agree that wellbeing comes from more than the foods we choose to eat and the physical fitness level we strive for. Surely, our sense of wellness goes much deeper. Who we decide to spend time with can alter our moods drastically. What we watch on TV or listen to on the radio can relax our senses or can upset our balance emotionally.

So it goes, with the words we choose to think and use.

The ancient Toltec Indians had a set of agreements they lived by, the first one being “Be impeccable with your words.”

At the very least, being impeccable with our words means saying what we mean. Saying “yes” when we really would rather say “no” is a sure sign we are lacking impeccability in our words.

To be impeccable with one’s words requires forethought, honesty and careful consideration. Listening to our own internal dialogue, inside our mind, is the beginning of impeccability.

Surely, we have all suffered the harsh judgments we cast upon ourselves.  Our inner judge can be extremely critical. Other times, we may ignore our own conscience and internal words of warning, thereby missing the mark of who we want to be.

Carefully considering the words we think and say starts the process of analyzing our deepest thoughts and feelings about ourselves.  From there, it takes vigilance to say what we really mean to those around us.

Articulating words can be a complex business. Words have the ability to build up or tear down. We want to get along and don’t want to cause hard feelings. Still, it is best to be honest in our communication with others rather than saying something we think they just want to hear. These “white lies” can degrade authentic connection between people and make others doubt that we truly mean what we are saying.

When we are impeccable with our words, we are being our true self, we are sharing ourselves in a much deeper way than perhaps we’ve been accustomed to. Just think of all the times someone has asked “How are you?” and all the times we have given them the quick answer we thought they wanted to hear.

Now, think of all the times you have answered that question genuinely. More often than not, revealing that life has been challenging lately or that you are not feeling very well, brings relief to you for having answered impeccably and creates a deeper bond with those you share with.

Even the Bible admonishes, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’” – Matthew 5:37 NIV

Saying what you mean may disappoint some people because it may not be what they want to hear but it certainly relieves frustration. Frustration is relieved on your part because you are free when you are true to your word. While all those around you can be free of frustration because there is no need for them to guess at what you mean.  Everyone will know that your words are as good as gold, even if they don’t agree with you.

Keep in mind, using your words impeccably is never an excuse to berate others or to say hurtful things.  We’ve all heard the thoughtless person say, “Well, I had to tell the truth” as an excuse to cast criticism and judgment.

Saying what you mean and meaning what you say is especially stress relieving for children because when they ask you something , they want to trust you. They test you over and over to see if you really mean what you say.  If your answer is no and they can push you until you change your mind and say yes, they won’t necessarily believe you the next time you say yes or no.  Then it all comes down to a battle of the wills to see if they can push you hard enough (again) to get the answer they are looking for. By the way, some adults also behave this way.

Do not underestimate the power of your words.  Always do your best to say exactly what you mean.  By listening carefully and choosing well the words you use, you will have the great gift of well being within that naturally overflows in the form of encouragement to all those around you.

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